“Dear diary, I’m a house!”

“Dear diary, I’m a house!”

Dear diary,

I was born today! It turns out I’m a house. 😀 See, I wasn’t sure. Honestly! I was thinking I was gonna be a boat for the longest time! Stupid me, right? In my defense though, it IS a bit difficult to think straight while you’re being built. But yay, today I’m done!

And get this, I was built by ONE guy! Amazing. He seems nice. The silent, dependable type, you know? Must’ve been hard to build a whole house on his own though. I wonder why his friends didn’t help? Maybe he doesn’t have any..? 😦 Don’t worry Mr. Maker, I’ll be your friend!

Anyway, I thought I’d take this opportunity to start a diary. I’m gonna tell you all about my wacky adventures and innermost secrets. >;)

Talk to you soon, bye!

Dear diary,

Oops! I promised I was gonna write again soon, didn’t I? Sorry, sorry! I don’t have a good excuse either. I can’t say I’ve been too busy, because, I haven’t. I haven’t done much at all, actually.

Me and my maker have been living together for years now. It’s been great. Yeah, very calm and peaceful. My maker has his routines, you know. He sleeps, eats breakfast, goes to “work” (whatever that is), comes home, eats dinner, watches TV, and goes to bed. It’s been great. You couldn’t ask for a calmer life.

(You wouldn’t believe the noises coming from the nearby houses. Yeah, I seriously lucked out)

So yeah, that’s my life. I can really see us growing old together.

See you when I see you, diary.

Dear diary,

Strange things are happening.

People have started to visit us all of the sudden. I’m NOT used to that! And they don’t just talk, they walk around in all my rooms (even my cellar) and they touch me and they poke me in all sorts of places. 😥

And my maker’s been moving out all the furniture. I’m so empty now.

I don’t like it. I’m scared.

Dear diary,

I think I’ve been sold!! :O :O :O </3

There’s a man, woman and child living here now. Awful people! They are loud, and dirty (well, the kid is), and they have no routines at all. It’s chaos!

Get out! Nobody wants you here! Give me my maker back!

I don’t understand. What did I do wrong?!

I mean, I suppose I was kind of dull, wasn’t I? I didn’t make him smile or anything. I just.. sat there. Like an idiot. Of course he wanted something else. Who wants a boring house that just sits there!? I just didn’t… I didn’t know what I was supposed to do.

Please come back, I can be funny! I can!

I hate this!! 😡

Dear diary,

Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, they got another kid. :{

What happened was, the woman got fat and then they went away and when they got back they had IT with them. It’s like the other one but much smaller and yet much, MUCH worse! It cries ALL the time! Even during the night. ESPECIALLY during the night! I haven’t slept in ages.

At least they can’t sleep either. They’re really tired. Heh. Sometimes they’re so tired they walk straight into my doors. Thud! That makes me feel a little better.

Oh, and I saw the maker! He stood by the driveway and looked at me, and I looked at him. I tried to call out but I don’t think he heard me.. 😦 He did look a little sad though. Then he left.

Maybe he’s gonna buy me back? I’m afraid to get my hopes up!

Dear diary,

I’ve saved a life! Not gonna lie, it feels pretty good.

The oldest kid, who is a girl called Mary by the way (more about that later), was goofing around in the kitchen and a blender (heavy!) was on the edge of the counter. Mary accidentally pulled its cord so it tipped over. It would’ve hit her had I not (with no regard for my own safety), opened a drawer so it fell in there instead.

She told her parents about what I did but they didn’t believe her. That’s OK though, us heroes don’t do what we do for the attention, you know. 😉

That night, when she was in her bed, she put her hand on my wall and said “Thank you”. Awww! She introduced herself and told me lots about her, what she likes to do and stuff. I felt we really connected! I like Mary, she’s awesome.

She also told me that her parents are called Joe and Elisabeth, and her brother’s name is Henry. I suppose I’ll try to remember that since she made the effort to tell me.

Dear diary,

Sorry again for not writing, but this time I have a valid excuse because I HAVE been pretty busy.

Between keeping Mary company and looking out for Henry (the smallest one, remember?) I barely have time to do my regular chores. Trust me, it takes a lot of work just “being a house”.

I don’t have to do much for Elisabeth the mom though, she’s pretty self-sufficient. Although, she sometimes cries out “Keys! Keys!” and runs around me like a madwoman. So I help her find them. (Honestly, they’re always RIGHT where she left them! LOL)

But then there’s Joe, the dad. He worries me a little. He insists on doing all my maintenance himself. I don’t know how many times I’ve saved him from hurting himself. Just yesterday he tried to install a new lamp WITHOUT turning off the electricity first! I had to blow a fuse or he would have electrocuted himself. I know he means well and I do appreciate it. (I especially likes that he sings while he works, he’s got a good voice.) But even so, I wish he’d hire a professional sometimes.

Oh, he should hire my maker! Say, I wonder what he’s up to. I hope he’s doing well and has a family of his own.

OK, talk to you soon, diary. Bye-bye!

PS. Oh, I almost forgot to mention, Elisabeth is getting fat again! Yay!!! 😀


Written for The Daily Post’s Discover Challenge: The Things We Leave Behind

5 thoughts on ““Dear diary, I’m a house!”

  1. This was hilarious and lovable. Awesome concept, and I appreciated the little things such as the house and little girl forming a bond – kind of anyway. I felt like how House learned things was a little confusing at times (such as why it only learned the parents names after the girl told him?) but besides that the ideas and dialogue were gold! Nice work!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you very much, I’m glad you liked it! 🙂 And thank you for the feedback. It’s very helpful to know what worked and what didn’t. I might revisit the story someday to try and improve it, I’ll be sure to work on those issue then. 🙂 Cheers!

      Liked by 1 person

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