The two sisters were walking home from school, shouting and screaming at each other. Neither remembered how the fight had started, but both were determined to win. They were so busy arguing they didn’t notice the weather changing, nor the townspeople leaving the streets for the safety of their homes.
A thunderous roar made the sisters jump and huddle together. They watched in disbelief as a flash flood crashed into town, turning the streets into deep, furious rapids. The ground shook and twisted, then it crumbled and broke apart, and the sisters fell screaming into the water.
The world beneath the surface was an angry one. It pummeled the sisters with bricks, smashed them into cars, and clawed at their flesh with broken pipes and glass. But worst of all, it held them down, denying them precious air. They fought desperately for another breath, but to no avail.
As the sisters realized they were going to die, they each made a wish. “Let my sister live.”
And with that, the water spat them out, the rapids dried up, and the sky cleared.
The sisters lay there, exhausted, and crying for joy that the other had been saved.
Thanks for reading!
Written for theΒ Sunday Photo Fiction β September 4thΒ 2016
197 words.
Lovely story with a moral teaching about kindness and love. Good writing, Sonny. π — Suzanne
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Thanks Suzanne! Yes, let’s hope the sisters learned something from that experience. π
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This actually gave me chills! It is spectacular how you brought so much intensity and angst into just a few short paragraphs. An amazing story with a beautiful ending, great work. π
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Thank you so much Lindsay for those kind words! π I confess I had to rewrite the whole thing several times before I was happy with it. I’m so glad to hear the story didn’t disappoint. Thanks again!
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The best stories are those that we toil with over and over again. π
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Oh my gosh my heart was pounding reading this. I wasn’t sure until the last line that both sisters were going to live. Thank you for the happy ending Sonny π
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Cool! I’m proud I got your heart pounding, a great compliment, thank you Jade! I feared I had overworked the story. *^_^*
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Neat, I really like how you wrote this. The flash flood mirroring the fight of the sisters themselves. You have great visual description here, making it so easy picture. I think both sisters got lucky, but they both made the right wish and so, both live. Nice happy ending, which potentially could’ve been bad.
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Thank you! I’m glad you liked the visuals, I rewrote it several times because I didn’t want to overdo them. It was a challenge! Yes, the key was selflessness. Because of what they set in motion, they could only save the other.
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I like how it was their own selflessness that saved them. I thought neither was going to make it. Good story Sonny.
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Thank you! Yes you’re right, they each had the power to save the other, and only the other.
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Terrifying images, I was sure it was going to end badly, but I liked the way you turned it round at the end. I hope they both learned their lesson!
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Thanks Iain! Yes let’s hope so or it will be a tsunami next time. π
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